I have been taking an online writing class at Gotham Writer's Workshop. One of the students was getting confused about similes and metaphors. It so happened that while I was reading this hilarious blog called How to Write Badly Well, a commenter suggests the author attend Simile School.



I watched that video and it was pretty funny.  I then stumbled upon this gem, made by a couple of dopey yet brilliant high school kids: Metaphor Man & Simile Man.

Twix. All the battles of Troy, in my mouth.

undays are the best. Why? Because even though my life consists of days blurring into one another, with me rarely aware what day it is...Tuesday? Friday? I don't know, they're all the same to me! But when Sunday rolls around, even if I was thinking Saturday was actually Thursday, I can tell. Sunday feels different than the rest of the days. The birds sing sweeter, and most importantly, coffee is no longer a performance drug - it's just delicious and relaxing.  And it makes me want to write.

've said it once, and I'll say it again. Edward Cullen would make a perfect boyfriend for a bipolar or otherwise mentally unstable girl. He's rich, indestructible, hot, never sleeps and he's freakin' sparkly.

Rich: Who wouldn't rethink suicide plans when faced with a shopping spree?
Indestructible: Neither fists of fury nor flying dishes have ill effect on the undead.
Hot: See: never sleeps.
Never sleeps: Exactly. Who has time for tears?
and..Sparkly! Diamonds are a girl's best friend. What could be better than a sparkly boyfriend? Not much. 

o, I've been hard at work designing new business cards for me, the writer, so I don't seem like a total hack at the Festival of the Book next week when I meet important people.  Word on the street is that writers, apparently, should have basic, boring business cards. I tried to design a boring card, I really did. But in the end, it was impossible.
  
Hopefully I will not be scorned for my madness by people who matter. What do you think? Too crazy?

 
ook what I found! Daily Drop Cap's fantastic typography designer, Jessica Hisch creates a daily drop cap that is up for grabs to use in your blog posts! So cool!  There are about three full alphabets on there so far, I think.  I really wish I was as cool as Jessica - I think this is one of the most awesome daily projects I've seen in a long time. Two of my other faves are my hubby's self-portrait-a-day blog (N8 365) and Noah Scalin's Skull-a-Day blog.

 

'm quite certain nobody on planet earth is visiting this blog anymore due to my...um...break. BUT. I am back. With a vengeance. Here's the deal with me. I am on a rampage to finish a book or two this year and find an agent. I'm taking a writing class at the moment, which will last until March. I am currently working on two stories. One is titled Demons et Merveilles/Demons & Wonders. The other is titled Switchwife. I'd tell you about them, but I'd have to kill you.

 

ear Readers,

I apologize for my absence. Firstly, some good Stuff: the Haiku Kung Fu Champion is Cheri! Congrats to her, and thanks to all of you for playing.

Secondly, some very sad Stuff: I just returned from an eleven day surprise trip to San Diego. My sister, who was six and a half months pregnant, lost her baby in a mysterious way- her baby's little heart just randomly stopped beating. It was an emotional weekend, as my sister had to be induced into labor and deliver her baby.  Just heartbreaking. Apparently this happens more frequently than most people realize, and medically the doctors can't usually find a reason for it. The doctor said that occasionally there is something like a knot in the cord but usually, it's just this totally mysterious thing that happens, and they just don't have any answers for it. I was surprised to hear that.  It's just so sad, and seems so wrong and unfair. My sister was so happy to be pregnant and was so healthy, as was the baby. It makes no sense. We will all miss the chance to see little Sofia grow, and are hopeful that maybe her spirit will return when my sister is ready to try again. Any prayers for Sarah and her husband Tony will be appreciated. They need all the help they can get to make it through their grief and be ready to try again.

UPDATE: Almost exactly a year after my sister lost little Sofia, she and her husband were blessed with Adrien Victor Benelli. Isn't my nephew adorable?! Congrats to Sarah & Tony! 

Thirdly, some more sad and scary Stuff: Valena, a dear friend of mine gave birth to her baby girl, Olive, just a few days before my sister lost little Sofia, and little Olive is now fighting for her life. She was born full term, and thought to be totally healthy, when at the last minute just before Valena and hubby John were about to take her home, a nurse had a funny feeling and wanted to give Olive a quick ultrasound. Turns out she found bleeding in Olive's brain, and they discovered that she was having these strange invisible seizures. Olive stopped breathing in Valena's arms at one point, and has been in the NICU ever since. The doctors have found no reasons for any of this- Olive is otherwise healthy. They are hopeful for Olive's full recovery, but it has been pretty taxing on Valena and John, and on Monday, Olive's two week birthday, they just recieved word that Olive will need to have some sort of tube dealy put in her head to drain some of the fluid out. This is sad because Valena had been told that Olive was doing great and may be able to go home on Friday. Now she's about to get another round of MRI's CT scans and the like. I can't imagine how frustrating the waiting and wondering is for them. My heart just aches to think of it.

Valena & John and Baby Olive need all the prayers  they can get at the moment. They are the sweetest family, and have already had their share of medical hardships, as Valena has been battling Lupus since she was nineteen. Get strong, little Olive!

UPDATE: A year later, here is Valena & John's gorgeous little Olive: 
In my time away, I will also be writing as much as I can. It is a goal of mine to finish a manuscript this year and submit to/ get accepted by an agent or publisher before the year is out. I find that I spend more time messing about on this blog than I do writing, and that ratio needs to change if I am to accomplish this goal.

I appreciate you all, and thank you for sticking with me on this little journey so far. I'll be back soon, and if you should ever care to get in touch, just leave me a comment or send me an email at 88words (at) gmail.com. I will respond immediately.

Cheers, Hugs, and Happy Almost Spring!

his is my imaginary new outfit to wear swing dancing. I have been in the mood for some yellow, maybe because I'm tiring of the dreary days of winter. I thought something nautical would be cute with the sailor pants. I liked this tattoo-inspired necklace for a punch of color.  I wanted something fun for my hair, and this fascinator is cute, but not quite what I had in mind. Plus I'm not sure if my hair is quite long enough for this yet. How about them shooz?

he first time I ever heard Brian Regan was in my VW Beetle on the other side of the Golden Gate Bridge with my hubby, Nate. I was laughing so hard at this part, I failed to function as a safe driver and had to pull over on the side of the road and listen to the entire CD. The following excerpt is about the famous "I before e except after c" rule, and even after hearing this a thousand times - still hilarious. Warning: do not drink milk.

kay, so I'm not totally the huge fan of dorky t-shirts that say stuff on them, but these were pretty funny. I found them at Threadless in their new-ish Type Tee section. I could totally wear all of these with pride, and my birtdhay is coming up, so feel free. I wear a size small. But if they only have medium, that's fine.

This first one has a haiku on it (we know I love a good haiku!) and it says:

Haikus are easy

But sometimes they don't make sense

Refrigerator

hat you don't know about me is that I have sat on John Lennon's lap. It's a fact. When I was less than two, my hippy parents were at some outdoor restaurant in Ojai. As they sat to enjoy a hoobie-doobie meal consisting of freshly juiced weeds and organic whatnots, John & Yoko were seated nearby. The famous couple demanded to hold me, because I was so damned cute. Later on in life, I had this cat named Yoko that I used to carry around in a bag.

he Haikus are in and ready to be rated. One lucky winner will win this month's trophy- the smitten pendant.  Click here to vote, and please read the rules. Voting booth will stay open until Feb 28th!

Good luck to all who entered!

eriously, look at how they FLOAT on the wall! Whoever is behind LittleFishFurniture at Etsy is a genius.  I don't care what you say, there is not a cooler bookshelf in the universe than this upcycled smartness. There just can't be. When I buy my next house I will own at least one set. I love the Wordstruck shelf, and am so tempted to grab it now... AWESOME. It is hard to look at these and not say to myself, DAMN IT! Why didn't I think of that?

hen Valentine's Day rolls around, here's an amazing way to say "I love you." These handmade tiles by TileSmile make me want to do a wordy backsplash in my dream kitchen...in my dream house. (Though I'm not sure if "You're my woobie" would make the cut.) This is a small sampling of their love-themed tiles, but there are a whole slew of other wordtastic wall plates to drool over. And, I'm pretty sure she'll do custom tiles if you visit the shop! Which you should! Right now! Go!

ive years ago yesterday, I met my hubby at The Red Room in San Francisco. In a wiley scheme involving this

red hat named after yours truly and my friend Emily from Moe Sew Co. my husband arranged for this hat to arrive on time to celebrate. Someday I will tell my kids: 

 "Your mom was so amazing, they named a hat after her."  And then I'll probably tell them it's a magical hat that makes unicorns and fairies come to life, and makes money grow on trees.

very child needs a set of alphabet blocks. But what to do when you are molding that child into a Mad Scientist?

Enter xylocopa's ingenious Mad Scientist Alphabet Blocks!

Finally, you can rest assured that your little overthrower of the universe will not get his dirigibles confused with his goggles, will know how to coerce useless peasants into becoming his henchmen, and he will have the know-how to secretly build an ex-ray equipped freeze-ray gun with robotic tentacles and a laser. All in the safety of his underground lair.

A - Appendages
B - Bioengineering
C - Caffeine
D - Dirigible
E - Experiment
F - Freeze ray
G - Goggles
H - Henchmen
I - Invention
J - Jargon
K - Potassium
L - Laser
M - Maniacal
N - Nanotechnology
O - Organs
P - Peasants (with Pitchforks)
Q - Quantum physics
R - Robot
S - Self-experimentation
T - Tentacles
U - Underground Lair
V - Virus
W - Wrench
X - X-Ray
Y - You, the Mad Scientist of Tomorrow
Z - Zombies

ear Readers,

As soon as my juicy new typewriter ribbon arrives with my special "screw you" wax seal, I will be offering to you, my devoted readers, the option of hiring me to do your dirty work.

That's right, I will transcribe or even craft your special hate mail and hand type it onto a nice sheet of cream parchment paper, seal it in a lovely envelope with a fancy "screw you" seal, and send it anonymously (or not-up to you!) to the deserving recipient of your choice. 

On the flip side, I will also be offering a hand typed love letter service with optional "screw me" wax seal.  I'm also still on the lookout for the most perfect, romantic, vintagy stationery known to mankind. If you see it, let me know.

I'm really quite excited about this new service; I hope you will be, too. Look for it in my Etsy shop. Might take a couple weeks, sadly not in time for V-day. But neither love nor hate come around but once a year do they? And everyone loves to receive a good letter, no matter the date.

Yours Truly,